Finding your Perfect Swimsuit – Part 4 + Wednesday Wellness | Addressing Negativity & Internet Trolls
Hello my darlings!
I hope your week is going well, mine has been interesting to say the least. If you follow me on Instagram, you probably saw a post about attracting my first internet troll. Interestingly enough, the comment was posted on the last swimsuit series blog post, and not on insta. Whether or not the person was aware of the fact all comments on the blog are moderated (meaning they won’t publicly post until I approve them) I’m not sure.. but either way it was strange.
I reflected on the comment and their actions for a considerable length of time and how I would respond to such pure ugliness, particularly after I recently shared some very personal struggles in another post, which you can find here if you haven’t read it. I’m not going to publish the comment, but I will address each part of it in this post.
Internet Trolls
First of all, I’ve already touched on this before but WHY do we feel the need to be so ugly towards one another? I take time out of my day, every day, to search through blogs and comment on the author’s post. It takes serious time and dedication to write a post, link outfits, recipes, books; whatever your niche may be along with everything else that’s going on in your day! I love leaving positive feedback and letting the author know other people are out there acknowledging their work and appreciating their time. It feels nice to be acknowledged for your contributions or at least the time you’ve taken to put your work out there into the world! As we all know, time is a precious and valuable thing – gone within the blink of an eye. It’s already August! (How?!) When someone takes their time to be nasty, that tells me a number of things about that individual but mostly that they’re lashing out at me for a larger reason: they need help. They’re in pain, Ā they’re jealous, they’re insecure, they’re small, they’re cowardly, they’re unhappy. I am assuming the name and email listed on the comment were both fake – but to theĀ Leah around Houston, TX because yes, you can track IP addresses .. you my dear cannot cut me down or hurt me. I only hope whatever it is that’s causing you pain you find some solace from, or find some help. No one should live life feeling like they need to be so cruel to others, especially behind the veil of the internet.
You Need a Tan
Well – Agree to disagree on that one. I would say I’m rather shocked someone is calling me out because of my skin color or tone but sadly, this seems to be rather prevalent. That’s as small minded as judging someone based upon race. The presence or lack of a tan is ridiculous, even in a bathing suit. Do you know how many stunning individuals there are in this world who have porcelain skin? And let’s all educate ourselves on the rates of skin cancer. The days of baking in the sun or fake baking are over my friend. Personally, I’ve never tried a spray on tan, I’ve just never had the time. I have many friends, blogger friends included, who look fan-freaking-tastic with them. a) i just haven’t had the time b) i just love myself in my own skin c) there’s not a damn thing wrong with that.. it was the skin I was born in after all!
Your hair needs some TLC
Well.. let’s talk tresses shall we? You must not know me very well because saying my hair looks ratty is rather typical! My insta stories usually have my hair up in a clip- it’s a good day if it has found a brush! IĀ LOVE being a real human being a not an unrealistic Instagram being that’s seemingly untouchable. Who can live up to that, and who even wants to? I follow people I can relate to because they make me laugh and it’s real life! I also have extensions which I talked about in this post, and I never hide the fact that I have them. I hashtag great lengths in almost all my posts. Also saying my highlights look horrible – well thank you because I tend to get lots of compliments on them and I personally think they’re fantastically fun. Unicorn colors are just so festive! Wouldn’t you agree? I will tell you though, I shot six bathing suits in one afternoon in Dallas, TX heat and wind. That hair took a beating that afternoon most definitely!
You could lose a little weight
You know.. I did actually! In the span of a year (last summer to this summer) I lost about 17 lbs. I stopped eating gluten (mostly.. there is an occasional oops!), I cut out dairy, re-hired a trainer at my gym to keep me accountable, and started working out more than ever. I also went on a juice cleanse when I returned from France, which nicked off the last few pesky pounds, and I occasionally repeat when I want to detox. I have zero tolerance for telling a woman she needs to lose weight. Do you know how many women struggle with self image and weight? Ā In my last Wednesday Wellness post, I shared my long standing history of eating disorders that began as a young teenager. I can still hear my ballet teacher telling me to take off my leg warmers to “see what I’m hiding underneath them” in front of the entire class or telling me I looked “puffy” that day. Any day I look bloated now I have to ignore her voice because it still haunts me, and I’m someone who bloatsĀ very easily. I’m purposely sharing these bathing suit picturesĀ BECAUSE I have belly bloat and the skirt helps cover it.
Do you know what your words can do to someone who might not be as strong as I am? Who might be on the cusp of considering their worth at all? How dare you use a platform like the internet to tear someone down, behind a curtain of anonymity. You picked up my hips and thighs in the last post, saying the bathing suit was too small. a) the bathing suit was high cut b) i love my curves – women with curves I think have gorgeous figures c) I will never be embarrassed of my weight or my stretch marks.. they resemble a very tumultuous battle, one I have overcome. You can even see them in these photos, I hope you take notice.
If you’re going to be a fashion blogger, you need to look better than what you look like
I need to look better than what I look like? Do you know what message this sends to women? You’re essentially saying “hey, go throw your image in the garbage and go find a new one.” What if all of the fashion bloggers of the internet put you on stage and picked you apart piece by piece? I can guarantee you’d be in tears questioning every fiber of your worth. Did you know I lost myĀ twenty-five year old cousin to suicide this fall because he no longer knew his worth and now you’re attempting to make me question mine? Did you know there are approximatelyĀ 121 suicides every day? You didn’t hurt me, your comment angers me beyond proper words. My heart still aches with the loss of my family and your ugliness burns the wound that much deeper. I am tired of people tearing each other apart, tired of people contributing to pain when they could so easily be lifting each other up instead. This hatred is only going to continue destroying the world, why contribute to it?
As I’ve preached many times, I am me – nothing more, nothing less. I am all my imperfections in their shining beauty. I am my stretch marks, my frizzy hair, my sometimes lazy eye, my crooked tooth, my belly bloat, the occasional photo faux pax (the under boob here). I am not a perfect person, and that’s okay! Who wants to be perfect? I sure don’t, how exhausting is that?! Embrace your flaws my loves, they’re so much more fun! And to the trolls out there, all I can say is thank you – because you make me all the more thankful.
Photography by the wonderful Megan Weaver
Tanning is a must for me all day every day! It makes you look slimmer and it’s super flattering for any body type!
You look great! Some people just like to be cruel. I get bloated really easily too and it’s always been something I’m self-conscious about.
Super cute suit- but I also love the heart shaped towel! Perfect color pairing š
Oh my gosh, I can’t believe someone would be so mean and rude to you! That’s horrible! Please ignore that person and know you look AMAZING! Your style and personality totally shine through in these photos and I adore this bathing suit on you. Stunning!
Firstly I must say you are GORGEOUS!! I love that swimsuit, it is so lovely and you definitely slayed the look. I find it so sad when other women (if it was really a woman) try to bring each other down. As you said they have a larger issue and its not with you. Jealousy is a sickness that some are not strong enough to overcome. Continue doing the excellent work you are, never stop being fab and tell me where you got that darling hat!
First, your body is rocking! Second, thank you, thank you, thank you, for sharing! My favorite quote is, “Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.” Trolls and bullies need to watch their words because you never know the state of the person you’re speaking to. I love reading your posts! I appreciate you sharing your story; you are not alone girl! Keep doing what you’re doing, we love you!
This is just fabulous! I appreciate your authenticity!
You look healthy and happy. I cannot for the life of me understand why people think it’s ok to be so rude.
Goodness I’ve dealt with some trolls myself this past week.. I don’t get it! I love your suit too!
Preach, girl! Love those sandals!
Girlfriend, KEEP ON ROCKIN’ IT!!!! This is the first time I’ve come across your blog, and after what I’ve read, I never want to leave!!!!!!!! Check out your notifications, because you’re about to have a new subscriber and IG follower!!
Keep your chin held high! Your response to internet trolls is nothing shy of inspirational!!
– Kaitlin
kedgotwed.com
I’m so sorry you had to experience this kind of hate online. It’s absolutely disgusting that someone would go out of their way to comment such horrible words. I must say girl, that I loved your approach to this post, PREACH! You look so fab in this retro style bathing suit. The whole purpose of blogging is to be true to yourself and share your uniqueness with the world. In times like this, the people who follow you and support you see all that is great about you. Don’t let those idiots get to you, just keep doing you because you’re beyond fab.
First of all, you look fabulous! I admire anyone who publicly puts themselves out there and shares insecurities or daily struggles with the world. I love that you handled your response in this way. There is no need to give further attention the person. Move forward with those who support you and ignore the rest.
I think you look absolutely adorable! People that make those kind of comments obviously have some serious self-image issues. It’s sad really. Just rise above it my friend Aloha!
It’s a shame that people feel the need to put others down for no reason! You look absolutely fab and that suit is perfect on you!
First of all, you are stunning in all your posts! And I LOVE this swimsuit. And second, I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. I have honestly come to the conclusion that there are people who are just not mentally stable and don’t understand that people who blog or have huge online social media presences are actually people. It’s all about making themselves feel better by cutting someone down who they don’t know and will never actually see in person. I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. This person sounds like an especially nasty one. But hey, you haven’t made until you have haters, right? š
I hope you are having a much better week now! And keeping rocking your awesome photos and outfits! š
Girl that suit looks amazing on you! You rock such a great retro vibe.
These pictures are so cute and colourful! The yellow swimsuit looks so good on you!
SHARING this as much as I can. I freaking LOVED this article. There should be a mic drop at the end. THANK YOU for standing up for yourself and all of us who might struggle with self-esteem.
You addressed those internet trolls with such grace! I admire it! Beautiful post on that subject and also adorable swimsuit
People can be so rude. You look great! Keep up the great work.
Oh my goodness this shoot is soon darling!!! I want to shop every item down to your earrings!! That towel, bag, suit and umbrella are to die for!! Amazing styling babe! Keep it up!! XO
https://www.theweekenderafashionfieldguide.com
That swimsuit is perfect! I love how well it compliments your skin tone and body shape! And your photos are so high quality and amazing!
xo Tina
IG: @tinasweetheart
http://www.tinasweetheart.com
You look absolutely stunning! And I love your honesty and have so much respect for you! I hope everyone who has said negative things to you reads this post.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful article! Just stay positive and continue to do good! I hope you and all reading have a wonderful day! x
You’re gorgeous! Good job staying positive!
When I started blogging, I knew I would open myself up to a world of criticism and unfair expectations of who I should be and how I should look. You are doing a fabulous job and you look incredible… and like a REAL woman!
Ugh, why are people like that?! You do a good job of staying true to who you are regardless of the way others are. That’s very encouraging to others who face the same negativity. Your swimsuit is super cute…just love your style!
To be honest with you, I would not have given this woman another thought. Anyone who acts in such a distasteful and nasty way does not deserve the courtesy of a response. Yes, I agree that she obviously needs help but I think a person who acts this way would be very unlikely to learn anything positive from the response. We can only hope some how help finds her and helps to bring her some happiness and positiveness in her life. I’m so pleased you were strong in recognizing it for what it is and not letting it get you down.
You look beautiful. I absolutely love your swimsuit it is so cute. And your heart towel is awesome. No one should judge anyone let the person who is free of sin or the perfect person cast the first stone. That person doesn’t exist therefore no one should feel the need to criticize anyone.
First, that swimsuit is adorbs and second I am so sorry some horrible person would leave you a message like that. Keep you head high gorgeous and do your thing!
xoxox Christie
http://icanstyleu.com/blog/
It’s interesting to me to see the difference in trolls depending on the bog niche. I think in fashion people compare themselves and feel fine leaving negative comments.
I write a travel blog and have only had a few trolls. Once I decided to allow the comment through and it actually caused the page to receive quite a bit of engagement because other readers thought his comment was so rude. It was a good lesson.
I hate those people! Happy people don’t make other people miserable. only miserable people do.
You look amazing sweetie, don’t ever listen to them!
I can’t believe the things people say! It’s so rude and some of those comments–especially saying someone needs to lose weight–can be so damaging. You look beautiful! And that swimsuit is so, so cute!!!
OMG!!!! I can totally relate!! I love how you handled the internet trolls!! I’ve had some nasty comments too (written in really poor English, btw) but the way you handled it: LIKE A BOSS!!! Loved it! I’ve also been told I need a tan (heck, I’m pale, get over it people, it’s called Snow White and I’m rockin’ it!) and that I need to lose weight ????…at some point the tanning and lose weight thing did bother me…now…I just laugh. But as you can see, I could relate to this post a lot! I feel ya! I absolutely loved how real you kept it and how genuine you are able to write. I felt like I was listening to you! On another note, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your pics!!!!! You look like a total BOMBSHELL!!!! Gorgeous and super chic! (take that Leah around Houston, Tx!) Loved this post!!!! Thanks for sharing it! š ????
I think you look amazing! That swimsuit looks amazing on you, and I don’t think you need to do any changing! i agree with you about internet trolls tho.. they got too much time on their hands in my opinion š
You’re beautiful! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Don’t feed into the trolls though. Whoever posted these negative things about you probably saw this post and was happy that they got to you unfortunately.
Aww sorry to hear about the troll comments but am glad u decide to leave it unpublished. I used to get some on my IG and I would delete them & move on. No point dwelling with those negativity that sucks energy out of us.. and wow I’m impressed that u can go gluten & dairy free!! I’m a dairy lover and its hard to wean myself off it. I do have serious bloating issues which I’m rubbing lots of Digize essential oils to soothe. Guess I need to start eating clean to lose those excess fats!! You look amazing in the swimsuit btw ā¤ļø
I am loving everything about this beach ready look. I always try to ignore the noise of others. Nobody is perfect my weight has fluctuated so much.
So sorry to hear about this nasty troll! I too have been harassed online and in person for my extremely pale complexion. It’s beyond ridiculous and also rather racist to criticize someone for the color of their skin in my book. Thank you for sharing this post!
xo,
Lisa
http://www.prettylittleshoppers.com
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